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My Date With Sgt. Stiener, an interpretive reading
3 years ago  ::  Nov 19 2011 - 3:06PM
Posts: 17 Joined: Sep 17, 2011

This story will spoil details of a SR:TT Assasination target.


Can you freaking believe this tool??

Pierce txt's me on Saintsbook and he's like "Yo Money, dis STAG balla is straight G! He wants to meet chu somewhere to bust a GatCap in yo junk gurl! Best heat up, this playa ridin dirty!"

Attached to the fwd is a number, for some "STAG hotline" I'm all like "AHHH, ooookaay.. Well, first time for everything!" So I cruised on over to "that big-*** statue" which was Pierce's description of the designated meeting area.

When I arrived, I phoned the number, only to be greeted by some spiteful woman who "guaranteed" me I'd be going down.. WHOA THERE!! Before I could even grant myself thoughts of reconsidering, I see this boat cruising up faster than Michael Moore's first course run at the Ceaser's buffet. "Ah so he's a minute man;" I teased to myself as I smugly grinned and promptly fired a volley.of fish guts into his face. As the ground shook, I became enthralled, animalistic! I wasn't going to wait for what was surfacing to reap my opponent... No I was determined to sink my own jaws into him. Still, as so-disappointingly dazzled by what had just befallen him , I revved up my cute little rainbow CHAINSAW and leaped at him!

The takedown, with the grace of a crane gliding onto a shallow pond to catch a koi, left him stunned, that big, black..... heap of armor was probably wearing him down as much as his ego. I think that shark knew it would't be beneficial to surface at that point, as with all my dissatisfied fury, I thrust-ed my Ethical fang of judgment into his meek little shrivel of a heart, with pinpoint accuracy. With no remorse for allowing the night to spiral downward into the disaster that it became, I got back on my little tug boat and whistled off into the sunset.



Moral of the story; hookup hotlines will really make you spill guts.
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3 years ago  ::  Dec 13 2011 - 2:15AM
Posts: 1292 Joined: Sep 18, 2011

Really? Hah! This has got to be one of the funniest stories I've read!


 


I love it! Smile! You should really do more.

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3 years ago  ::  Dec 13 2011 - 8:49AM
Posts: 1103 Joined: Oct 24, 2011

"Always follow your dreams kids, because if you don't, you'll become your parents. How f*cking depressing is that?"
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